Breastfeeding Woes

At our first doctor visit on Monday, we found out that we had been starving you -literally! You both dropped about 18% of your body weight and had developed jaundice.

Let's back up the story a bit: you were champs at breast-feeding. I was not. You latched well, you tried to eat, but you got very frustrated, understandably so, when you didn't get what you deserved. I will NEVER forget SWEATING PROFUSELY as your daddy and I attempted a double latch in our bedroom in the glider with you both screaming for food while both sets of your grandparents peered in from the doorway/tried to help. I had lost all sense of privacy, but was still humiliated. I tucked you both back in a football hold-- Charlotte sucking hard and fast, Olivia struggling to stay awake, gently nibbling and not swallowing. Still- it ended in screaming.

You were admitted back to the hospital :( That's when my waterworks really started. REALLY, really flowed. You were so dehydrated that they couldn't get your IVs started. When they told me that you had to be admitted, my first tears came at the thought of you getting an IV in your head, which is what ended up happening to the both of you. Awful. Heart-wrenching. They tried about 5 times on each of you. The final placement was in Olivia's head and Charlotte's foot (after a successful attempt went bad on your head). Awful. 

We were there for 2 full (beautiful outside sunny) days. The pediatrician made me stop trying to breastfeed you every time so that I could sleep. I hadn't slept more than an hour at a time for at least 2 days. My production was down as a result, so she ordered me to eat, sleep and pump as you laid in your little incubator. I was relieved and terribly upset all at the same time. (And don't forget- I'm still healing too.)

Because we have to monitor how much milk you're actually getting, I have to continue to pump and feed you via bottle. I find it so much easier and less stressful!!!!!!!!  However, I am missing actually feeding you from my breast. It feels like I've known you forever already. 

Olivia Charlotte

Charlotte

We ate and slept well. I will be complaining to the hospital that the lactation consultant scared me so badly to supplement that this ended up happening. I have to take some responsibility, but it's why we didn't give them any formula. She never showed up to "consult" either. Poor.